In this post: A rewrite of the band 6 essay, useful line graph sentence patterns, and a self-check list with practice.
Line Graph Samples · 4 parts
- 1. The short answer, band 6 essay
- 2. Why 6, and band 7 essay (1)
- 3. Band 7 essay (2), side by side
- 4. Rewrite, patterns and checklist (you are here)
✦ In this post
6. Rewrite: the overview and body of the band 6 essay
Below is my rewrite of the UK acid rain essay. It is labelled “Rewrite” because I wrote it while putting this post together; it is not the version I submitted. The aim is to fix the TA problems: an overview that groups the lines correctly, a body grouped by line, and numbers and directions that are all right.
Rewrite: introduction + overview
The line graph compares the amount of acid rain emissions produced by four sectors in the UK between 1990 and 2007, measured in millions of tonnes.
Overall, emissions from three of the four sectors fell over the period, and the most dramatic decline was seen in electricity, gas and water supply, which went from being the largest source to only the third largest. By contrast, emissions from transport and communication fluctuated but ended at roughly the same level as in 1990, while the domestic sector remained the smallest source throughout.
What I changed: first, “all four fell” became “three of the four fell”, and transport is named as the exception. Second, electricity is not just “the biggest fall”; I added its change in ranking (from first to third), which is the most dramatic thing on the whole graph. Third, the domestic sector went from “changed least” to “always the lowest”, which is its real feature.
Rewrite: Body 1 (the two main sources)
In 1990, electricity, gas and water supply was responsible for about 3.3 million tonnes of emissions, considerably more than other industries, at around 2.1 million tonnes. However, the figure for the former dropped sharply over the next six years and fell below that of other industries in about 1996, when both stood at roughly 1.7 million tonnes. While emissions from other industries continued to decrease gradually and finished the period at about 1.2 million tonnes, making this sector the largest source, those from electricity, gas and water supply kept falling to just 0.5 million tonnes in 2007.
What I changed: the two “main” lines are now in the same paragraph, and the crossing point uses fell below with the falling line as the subject, so the direction cannot go wrong. I also added the fact that other industries ended up as the largest source. The other body paragraph would cover transport and domestic: transport fluctuated between 0.7 and 1.0, peaked in 2004–2005, overtook electricity around 2003 and ended back at about 0.7; domestic fell steadily from 0.6 to 0.2 and was always the lowest. Grouped like this, each line’s story is told in a single paragraph.
7. Sentence patterns and a self-check list to take away
Useful line graph patterns (by purpose)
| Purpose | Sentence frame | Note |
|---|---|---|
| Crossing point (A rises past B) | A overtook / surpassed B in [year], at about [figure]. | The subject is the rising line |
| Crossing point (A falls below B) | A fell below B / A was overtaken by B in [year]. | The subject is the falling line |
| Change in ranking | A went from being the largest to the third largest. | Very useful in the overview |
| Flat | A remained essentially unchanged / hovered around [figure]. | Only when the line really is flat |
| Fluctuation | A fluctuated between [x] and [y]. | Give the upper and lower limits |
| Start and end | Starting at [x], A rose steadily, finishing the period at [y]. | Covers a whole line in one sentence |
| Exception | All … except A, which stayed at roughly the same level. | The exception is a key point for the overview |
Words before numbers
| Words | Meaning | Example (actual value 54) |
|---|---|---|
| just over / slightly more than | a little above the figure | just over 50 |
| nearly / almost / just below | close to, but not yet reaching, the figure | nearly 55 (not nearly 51) |
| about / roughly / approximately | around the figure, either side | about 54 |
✓ Self-check list
- ☐ Before writing, I marked every line with ↑, ↓, → or ～
- ☐ My overview names the exception (the line whose trend differs from the others)
- ☐ My overview covers ranking: which line started highest, which ended highest, which was always lowest
- ☐ I checked the subject and direction of every overtook / surpassed / fell below
- ☐ I checked the order before and after every respectively
- ☐ My way of dividing the body (by time / trend / subject) keeps each line’s story in one paragraph as far as possible
- ☐ I only used nearly and just below for numbers smaller than the actual figure
- ☐ In the last minute, I re-read the overview to confirm it matches the graph
Practice
- Rewrite the third paragraph of the band 6 essay (in Part 1) as a “transport and domestic” body paragraph. (Hint: key words for transport are fluctuated, peaked, ended at; for domestic, steadily, the smallest throughout.)
- Take a line graph essay you wrote recently and look only at the overview. Check each sentence against the graph and ask: “Can I find evidence for this on the graph?” If you can’t, change it.
- Find a line graph with a crossing point and practise describing the same crossing in two ways: once with the rising line as the subject and once with the falling line as the subject.
One last thing: I wrote the acid rain essay on 24 June, more than a month into intensive practice, so this is not a mistake only beginners make. Looking back, I think I knew my template too well and wrote too fast. The closer you get to the exam, the more you need to remind yourself: the template only gives you sentences; the content must always come from the graph.
Further reading
- Review of my tutor Ali: streamlining my essay structure (400 → 300 words) (in Chinese)
- How to check your IELTS sub-scores (in Chinese)
- My successful IDP re-mark (in Chinese)
- Farid, a former examiner: live feedback on speaking and writing (in Chinese)
- IELTS study notes overview (in Chinese)
This is the last part of “Line Graph Samples”. To start again, go back to Part 1.
IELTS Notes in English · Band Score Samples (post 1 of 19)
Next →: IELTS Task 1 Bar Chart Samples: Band 6, 6.5 and 7.5 Compared
Task 1 Structure · Task 2 Structure · Topic Guides · Writing Language · Band Score Samples · Practice Methods · Speaking & Study Tips
✦ Target Your Future
Some days you practise for hours and the score still does not move. I hope these notes remind you that the setbacks are part of the road: every recording you replayed, every essay you rewrote and every sentence you finally dared to say is progress you have already made.
I wrote this down so the next person can take fewer detours. You do not have to follow my method exactly. Find a rhythm that works for you, rest when you need to, and come back for the next small step.
I hope what you take away is more than a number on a score report: a little more confidence in yourself, and the courage to step a bit closer to the world.
— Ting
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