In this post: My Band 7 dance classes essay (pie chart + bar chart), then one table showing what separates 6.5 from 7.
Mixed Chart Samples · 3 parts
- 1. At a glance and Band 6.5 essay
- 2. Band 7 essay and the gap (you are here)
- 3. Rewrite, framework, checklist
3. Band 7: dance classes pie chart + bar chart
What the task asks
This task gives data on young people taking dance classes in a town in Australia. The pie chart shows where the classes take place: private dance studios 48%, school halls (after school) 24%, community halls and other venues 18%, and college-based studios 10%. The horizontal bar chart compares how many students in two age groups (under 11 and 11–16) attend three types of dance class: ballet about 600 vs 300, tap about 450 vs 420, and modern about 300 vs 520.
The key features are clear: for location, private studios account for nearly half, far ahead of the rest; for type, younger children prefer ballet, while older students prefer modern dance, and tap is similar in both age groups.
This is the version I submitted for marking, unedited (spelling and grammar mistakes kept).
The graphs compare where the dance classes are located and which classes do students attend. Overall, most classes are located in private studios. Additionally, people under 11 are more likely to attend ballet dance classes, whereas modern classes are older students’ preferences.
Regarding the location, private studios are the most common places for dance classes, accounting for 48%. Following this, the second highest percentages goes to school halls, which makes up 24%. In terms of community halls and college-based studios, they contribute 18% and 10%, respectively, of the total.
As for the types of dance classes, ballet is the most popular one, with nearly 600 students under 11 and about 300 in the 11-16 age group choosing it. Besides that, there is no significant difference between those who select tap dance classes, with the figure for approximately 445 for students under 11 and roughly 420 for that in the 11-16 age group, respectively. In contrast, with only 300 students under 11 choosing modern dance classes, over 500 students over 11-year-old like this type of class.
What this essay did right
| Criterion | Score | What went right |
|---|---|---|
| Task Achievement | 7 | The overview has two sentences, one for each chart: “most classes are in private studios” and “under-11s prefer ballet, older students prefer modern”. These are exactly the most important features of the two charts, with no numbers crammed in. I checked every figure in the body: 48%, 24%, 18%, 10%, and 600/300, 445/420, 300/over 500 all match the charts. |
| Coherence & Cohesion | 8 | One chart per paragraph, with Regarding the location and As for the types of dance classes clearly marking each topic. Inside the paragraphs, Following this, Besides that and In contrast link the comparisons, so it reads smoothly. This is the main reason CC got 8. |
| Lexical Resource | 7 | accounting for, makes up, contribute … of the total, the most common places: several different ways of expressing “share”, without repeating percentage over and over. |
| Grammatical Range & Accuracy | 7 | Participle phrases (accounting for 48%), with structures to add detail (with nearly 600 students under 11…) and an in contrast comparison. There are still a few errors, so it stays at 7. |
What it still needed for 7.5 or 8
- An indirect question error in the first sentence: which classes do students attend sits inside a sentence, so it needs statement word order: which classes students attend. The introduction also leaves out “young people”, “a town in Australia” and “two age groups”, so it carries little information.
- An incomplete category name: the pie chart says “community halls and other venues”, but I wrote only community halls, dropping the “and other” part. Examiners notice small details like this.
- “Most popular” without evidence: I wrote ballet is the most popular one but never showed that this is based on the combined totals (about 900 for ballet, about 870 for tap and about 820 for modern). The three are actually close, so either add the totals as support or change it to “the most popular among under-11s”.
- Small grammar errors: the second highest percentages goes (subject–verb agreement), with the figure for approximately 445 (the for is unnecessary), over 11-year-old (the age group should be in the 11–16 age group), and respectively used in a sentence with only one set of figures.
4. What separates 6.5 from 7? One table
| Point of comparison | Band 6.5 essay | Band 7 essay |
|---|---|---|
| First sentence | Wrong chart type (line chart) | Correct chart type, but wrong word order in the indirect question |
| Overview | Covers rises/falls and the biggest growth, but uses an inaccurate by far | Two sentences, one per chart; precise key points with no unnecessary numbers |
| Data accuracy | 0.81% attached to gems and jewellery (should be −5.18%) | All figures correct |
| Data coverage | Only three of the five table figures | Every category in both charts is covered |
| Link between the charts | Each described separately, with repeated information | One chart per paragraph, with no overlap |
| Paragraphing | One paragraph on values, one on percentages | One paragraph on location, one on types |
| CC sub-score | 7 | 8 |
Putting the two essays side by side, my biggest takeaway was this: how you paragraph a mixed-chart task should depend on whether the information in the two charts overlaps. In the dance classes task, the pie chart (location) and the bar chart (type) are about completely different things, so one chart per paragraph is clearest. In the exports task, the bar chart and the table give the values and the rates of change for the same set of categories. Splitting them into two paragraphs only creates repetition; a better approach is to paragraph by “categories that rose” and “categories that fell or stayed flat”, using both the values and the percentages in each paragraph.
| How the two charts relate | Example | Suggested paragraphs |
|---|---|---|
| Different topics | Share by location + class types | One chart per paragraph |
| Same categories, different measures | Export values by category + rate of change | Group by trend (rising / falling), using both charts in each paragraph |
| One total, one breakdown | Total budget + how the budget is split | Total first, then the breakdown, showing how each part relates to the total |
Continue reading · Part 3 of 3
IELTS Notes in English · Band Score Samples (post 5 of 19)
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✦ Target Your Future
Some days you practise for hours and the score still does not move. I hope these notes remind you that the setbacks are part of the road: every recording you replayed, every essay you rewrote and every sentence you finally dared to say is progress you have already made.
I wrote this down so the next person can take fewer detours. You do not have to follow my method exactly. Find a rhythm that works for you, rest when you need to, and come back for the next small step.
I hope what you take away is more than a number on a score report: a little more confidence in yourself, and the courage to step a bit closer to the world.
— Ting
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