In this post: A model body paragraph on whether health is the individual’s or the government’s responsibility, the most common mistakes in health essays, and three practice questions with suggested outlines.
Health and Food · 3 parts
- 1. Common questions and arguments
- 2. Argument checks and breakdowns
- 3. Model, mistakes and practice (you are here)
✦ In this post
5. Model paragraph: is personal health the individual’s responsibility or the government’s?
Below is a model paragraph I wrote for this post. It takes the side that “governments should take more responsibility”, and the focus is pushing the argument from the individual level to the level of society:
Model (body paragraph, about 140 words)
[Point] I believe governments should play the leading role in improving public health, because many unhealthy choices are shaped by the environment rather than by individual willpower. [Explanation] When fast food is cheaper and easier to find than fresh vegetables, it is unrealistic to expect busy families to always choose the healthier option. [Extension] Governments, however, can change this environment through measures such as clear food labelling, limits on junk food advertising aimed at children, and affordable sports facilities. [Example] For example, if a city builds safe cycling routes and public parks in every district, residents are more likely to exercise without needing to be persuaded. [Wrap-up] In this way, public policy makes the healthy choice the easy choice, which benefits far more people than relying on personal responsibility alone.
The last sentence, “public policy makes the healthy choice the easy choice”, is the core idea of the paragraph. There are no statistics anywhere, yet every sentence explains why governments are more effective than individuals.
| Paragraph | Content (model outline) |
|---|---|
| Introduction | Paraphrase the question + position: individuals have a responsibility, but governments should play the main role. |
| Body 1 (the other view) | Personal responsibility: diet and exercise are personal choices; too much intervention may limit freedom. |
| Body 2 (my view) | The model paragraph above: the environment shapes choices, and policy can make healthy choices easy. |
| Conclusion | Restate the position: governments build the environment and individuals make the choices; the two complement each other. |
6. Common mistakes in health essays
| Common mistake | Why it is wrong | How to fix it |
|---|---|---|
| Misreading the scope of the question | The question is about “products with high levels of added sugar”, but you argue that “the body needs sugar” | First circle the limiting words in the question (manufactured, high levels of sugar) |
| Misapplying economic theory | Higher prices (through a tax) do not mean higher income for manufacturers | Cause and effect that works on common sense is safer than applying a theory |
| Adding -s to “research” or treating it as plural | “Research” is uncountable | research shows / studies show |
| post a threat | A misspelling of “pose” that can easily become a habit | pose a threat to |
| Using “health” as an adjective | “Health” is a noun; the adjective is “healthy” | a healthy diet; health problems |
| Mixing up food and foods | “Food” in general is uncountable; use “foods” only to stress different kinds | imported food; a variety of foods |
| Presenting an example as an unchecked fact | Specific years, countries and market shares damage your credibility if they are inaccurate | Use a hypothetical example or a general description |
| “Take myself as an illustration” followed by something that is not about you | The structure and the content do not match | In my experience, … or switch to a general example |
7. Practice questions (with suggested outlines)
Practice 1. Some people believe that individuals are responsible for their own health. Others think governments should take responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Show the suggested outline
You can use the model outline above directly.
A good example for the other view: even if there is a sports centre, people who do not want to exercise still will not go, so personal motivation is the key.
My view: the environment shapes choices, and policy affects far more people.
Be careful: the paragraph on the other view should be as fully developed as your own.
Practice 2. Many people nowadays do not get enough sleep. What are the reasons for this? What effects does it have on individuals and society?
Show the suggested outline
Reasons: ① Long working hours and commuting eat into rest time. ② Using phones before bed delays sleep.
Effects: ① On individuals: lower concentration, mood swings, long-term health risks. ② On society: more mistakes at work and road accidents, and higher healthcare spending (Argument 7, see Part 1).
Note: this question asks about “effects”, not “solutions”, so do not add a paragraph of solutions.
Practice 3. Fast food restaurants should not be allowed to open near schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Show the suggested outline
Position (model): Agree.
Body 1: Students are most exposed to fast food after school, and being close by increases how often they buy it, which shapes their eating habits.
Body 2: Children have limited self-control and nutritional knowledge, so they need a protective environment more than adults do.
Concession: A ban alone is not enough; schools should also provide healthy, affordable lunches and nutrition education (Argument 3, see Part 1).
Further reading
- IELTS Task 2 Band 7.5 Sample: Food from All Over the World in Our Supermarkets
- IELTS Task 2 Topic Vocabulary (Part 2): Culture, Crime, Housing, Society and the Economy
- How to Write an IELTS Agree/Disagree Essay: Full vs Partial Agreement, with Seven Real Essays
- The Grammar Mistakes I Was Corrected for Most in IELTS Writing
- How to Write an IELTS Two-Question Essay: One Question, One Paragraph, Two Points
- All IELTS notes in English
This is the last part of “Health and Food”. To start again, go back to Part 1.
IELTS Notes in English · Topic Guides (post 5 of 10)
← Previous: IELTS Task 2 Topic Guide: Environment and Energy
Next →: IELTS Task 2 Topic Guide: Cities, Housing and Transport
Task 1 Structure · Task 2 Structure · Topic Guides · Writing Language · Band Score Samples · Practice Methods · Speaking & Study Tips
✦ Target Your Future
Some days you practise for hours and the score still does not move. I hope these notes remind you that the setbacks are part of the road: every recording you replayed, every essay you rewrote and every sentence you finally dared to say is progress you have already made.
I wrote this down so the next person can take fewer detours. You do not have to follow my method exactly. Find a rhythm that works for you, rest when you need to, and come back for the next small step.
I hope what you take away is more than a number on a score report: a little more confidence in yourself, and the courage to step a bit closer to the world.
— Ting
← Back to IELTS notes in English
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