這篇筆記： 人口題的核心搭配詞（附我作文的原句與改法），再逐段拆解我兩篇 7.5 分作文：年輕人口比老年人多、告訴孩子「努力就能做到任何事」。
人口與社會｜共 3 篇
- 1. 常考題目與論點庫
- 2. 搭配詞與段落拆解（你正在讀）
- 3. 示範、錯誤與練習
✦ 這篇筆記帶你看
三、核心詞彙與搭配詞
右欄是我作文裡的原句，保留原本的寫法；括號裡是比較自然的改法。
人口結構與公共財政
| 搭配詞 | 中文 | Ting 原文例句（出處） |
|---|---|---|
| the proportion of young adults | 年輕成人的比例 | In some nations, the proportion of young adults is bigger than that of the older generation（Task 45；larger / higher） |
| increase government revenue | 增加政府收入 | The primary benefit of this phenomenon is that it increases the authorities’ income（Task 45；government revenue 更精準） |
| a mandatory national insurance scheme | 強制性的國民保險 | the income of this mandatory national insurance will increase simultaneously（Task 45） |
| flexible budget allocation | 彈性的預算運用 | further leading to flexible budget usage（Task 45；allocation 比 usage 自然） |
| enhance the competitiveness of society | 提升社會競爭力 | it enhances competitiveness of community（Task 45；the competitiveness of society） |
| an indispensable part of | 不可或缺的一部分 | young laborers are indispensable parts for the society（Task 45；an indispensable part of society） |
| an ageing population | 高齡化人口 | （筆記）aging population poses financial burden on both the government and households（poses a financial burden） |
| life expectancy | 平均壽命 | （筆記）life expectancy of human beings has increased in decades（in recent decades） |
| raise the retirement age | 提高退休年齡 | （示範）Many governments are considering raising the retirement age. |
家庭、照顧與教養
| 搭配詞 | 中文 | Ting 原文例句（出處） |
|---|---|---|
| childcare support | 托育支持 | it is recommended that the authorities should implement childcare support to enhance social well-being（Task 45；recommend 後面用原形，去掉 should 更正式） |
| take care of offspring | 照顧子女 | surpass the difficulty of taking care of offspring（Task 45） |
| relieve one’s burden | 減輕負擔 | （筆記）the help from the elderly can undoubtedly alleviate their burden as well as the expenditure on babysitters |
| boost children’s potential | 激發孩子的潛力 | Another factor is that it boosts children’s potential（Task 43） |
| take the possibility of failure into consideration | 考慮失敗的可能 | they do not take the possibility of failure into consideration（Task 43） |
| undertake a big loss | 承受重大損失 | they may need to undertake the big loss of their initial investment（Task 43；suffer a heavy loss on their initial investment） |
| negatively impact mental well-being | 負面影響心理健康 | which negatively impacts people’s mental well-being（Task 43） |
| the sandwich generation | 夾心世代（上有老下有小） | （示範）The sandwich generation must care for both their children and their ageing parents. |
| long-term care | 長期照顧 | （示範）The government should expand long-term care services for the elderly. |
四、Ting 的實戰段落拆解
以下段落都是送出批改的原始版本，一字未改。
4-1 Task 45：年輕人口比老年人口多（Outweigh）
題目大意：有些國家的人口中，年輕成人的人數相對比老年人多，優點是否大於缺點？我認為優點大於缺點。下面是第一個主體段，以及讓步段。
The primary benefit of this phenomenon is that it increases the authorities’ income. There is no denying that tax or some related payments from young adults are the main sources for most countries, since the government tends to ask younger workers to pay more. The National Taiwan healthcare insurance, which only requests youngsters to pay, is a good example. If the number of taxpayers grows, the income of this mandatory national insurance will increase simultaneously. Therefore, younger population grants the authorities concerned more income, further leading to flexible budget usage.
做得好的地方：論點一開始就很明確（增加政府收入），接著解釋為什麼（年輕人是稅收主要來源）、舉例（健保）、推出結果（繳費人數增加 → 收入增加 → 預算更有彈性）。最後一句 further leading to flexible budget usage 把影響再往前推一步，這種「結果的結果」是 Task Response 能拿 8 的關鍵：考官看到你不只說「收入增加」，還說了收入增加之後的意義。
要小心的地方：例子的描述太絕對。「健保只向年輕人收費」這個說法並不正確：健保是全民強制納保，保費由被保險人、雇主和政府共同分擔，只是有工作收入的人負擔了比較大的部分。寫例子時，用 working-age adults contribute the largest share of premiums 這種說法，就不會出錯；since the government tends to ask younger workers to pay more 也一樣，原因其實是「年輕人有工作收入」，而不是「政府刻意要年輕人多付」。雅思不是在考事實，但寫錯的例子會讓推理的基礎變得不可靠。
However, there are some downsides associated with this phenomenon, one of which is childcare related issue. After young adults enter the workplace, they lose their time to stay with their children. Besides that, this situation will become even worsen if they do not gain some help from older generation. Hence, since the importance of children’s education is so important that it should not be ignored, relatively lower number of the elderly poses a threat on educating and taking care of kids.
讓步段的邏輯少了一步。題目問的是「年輕人比老年人多」的影響，但這段前兩句「年輕人進職場後沒時間陪孩子」，其實是所有雙薪家庭都有的問題，跟人口結構沒有直接關係。真正和題目相關的，是第三句「得不到長輩的幫忙」，因為老年人口少，能幫忙帶孫的祖父母就少。如果把這一步放在最前面，讓步段就會更緊扣題目。另外 the importance of children’s education is so important 重複了 importance 和 important；poses a threat on 要改 to；even worsen 要改 even worse。
結論做得很好：最後一段寫「增加政府收入和提高生產力的好處，超過照顧子女的困難」，再加上「建議政府提供托育支持」，等於用一個政策回應了讓步段的缺點。Outweigh 題的結論能「秤重＋提出解方」，是 Coherence 拿到 8 的原因之一。
4-2 Task 43：告訴孩子「努力就能做到任何事」（Advantages / Disadvantages）
題目大意：在某些文化中，大人常告訴孩子只要夠努力就能做到任何事，這樣說有什麼優缺點？下面是缺點段。
However, teaching children that their dreams will undoubtedly come true is sometimes disadvantageous. First and foremost, those people may encounter financial difficulties since they do not take the possibility of failure into consideration. Due to the fact that they are taught to keep working to reach their dreams, people lose the ability to evaluate the sides of getting loss. Therefore, they may need to undertake the big loss of their initial investment because of the inappropriate anticipation of the outcome. Secondly, it causes some mental illnesses like depression. It is readily apparent that if people do not know about the potential consequences, they do not prepare for the pressure they may meet, which negatively impacts people’s mental well-being.
為什麼 Lexical Resource 能拿到 8：這是我 50 篇批改作文裡唯一一篇 LR 拿到 8 的。take the possibility of failure into consideration、the inappropriate anticipation of the outcome、negatively impacts people’s mental well-being，這些搭配都很精準，而且是貼著題目內容用的，不是硬塞的高級字。這篇的用字沒有特別難，但每個字都用在對的位置。
論點的推理很完整：兩個缺點都從同一個根源出發（沒有考慮失敗的可能），再分別推到財務和心理兩個方向。這是很聰明的寫法：讀者一看就知道兩個論點是相關的，Coherence 自然清楚。
還能更好的地方：the ability to evaluate the sides of getting loss 不自然，改成 the ability to evaluate the risk of failure；第一個缺點講的是「長大後投資失利」，跟「孩子」的距離有點遠，如果加一句「這些孩子長大後」作為過渡，時間軸會更清楚。我自己的分析是，Grammar 停在 7 是因為這類小地方（getting loss、the big loss、can success 在前一段）累積起來，雖然不影響理解，但還不到 8 分要求的「大部分句子沒有錯誤」。
繼續讀 · 第 3 / 3 篇
✦ Target Your Future
有些日子，明明練了很久，成績卻還停在原地。希望這篇筆記能讓你知道，備考路上遇到挫折並不孤單。一次次重聽的錄音、改過的作文、終於敢說出口的句子，都是你已經走過的路。
把這些經驗寫下來，是想陪下一個正在準備的人少繞一點路。你不必照著我的方法前進，只需要慢慢找到適合自己的節奏。累的時候可以休息，再回來做今天能完成的一小步。
願你最後帶走的，不只是成績單上的數字，還有更相信自己、敢往世界走近一點的勇氣。
— Ting
← 回到 IELTS 備考筆記
Leave a Reply