In this post: How to plan two body reasons from different angles and an optional concession, how the second question of Essay 41 handles the same judgement, and how to close according to your position.
Positive/negative essays · 3 parts
- 1. Question type, position, introduction
- 2. Reasons, concession and conclusion (you are here)
- 3. Worked example, mistakes, practice
✦ In this post
4. Planning the body: two main reasons + an optional concession
Two main reasons: change the group, change the angle
The two reasons should ideally come from different “groups” or “angles”, so that the reader feels you have proved the same point from two directions. This is how I arranged my three essays:
| Essay | Reason 1 | Reason 2 | How they are separated |
|---|---|---|---|
| Essay 6: countryside to cities | Countryside: labour leaves, and development stalls | Cities: population becomes too concentrated, and the cost of living rises | The same phenomenon seen from two places: where people leave and where they arrive |
| Essay 39: global food | Environment: long-distance transport increases carbon emissions | Economy: imported food hurts local industry | Environment vs economy |
| Essay 41: home-owning culture (question 2) | Young people: house prices are too high for those just starting work | Society as a whole: family background is overemphasised, and the wealth gap widens | Individuals vs society |
I particularly like the plan for Essay 6. The question only says that “the rural population is falling”, so many people only think of problems in the countryside. But migration has two ends, and if you look for the second reason at the city end, the two paragraphs naturally won’t repeat each other. Both topic sentences also put the affected place first:
Once people move to urban areas, labor productivity in the countryside will definitely decrease, further hindering the development of rural areas.
Moreover, the quality of living in urban areas decreases considerably if an increasing number of people immigrate to cities.
One is about the countryside and the other about urban areas, so the examiner can see how the work is divided just from the topic sentences. (“Immigrate” usually refers to moving to another country; for moving within a country, “move” or “migrate” is enough.)
Four steps for each reason paragraph
| Step | Content | Essay 39, reason 1 |
|---|---|---|
| Topic sentence | Position word + reason | The primary reason why I consider this is a negative development is that imported food always results in pollution… |
| Mechanism | Why does this happen? | Long-distance air and sea freight need large amounts of fuel |
| Example or contrast | A concrete situation, or “what would happen otherwise” | Buying local food does not need long-distance transport, so it would not add to the greenhouse effect |
| Link back | Use “Therefore” to bring the paragraph back to its point | Buying imported food is not environmentally friendly |
After the example, Essay 39 adds a contrast:
However, if individuals choose to buy domestic goods, which are not necessary for long-distance international shipment, the greenhouse effect will not be deteriorated.
This kind of “what if we did it differently” contrast moves the argument from “imports cause emissions” to “local food can avoid those emissions”, which is more persuasive than adding another example. Grammatically, “which are not necessary for…” should be “which do not require…”, and “will not be deteriorated” should be “will not worsen” (deteriorate is intransitive, so it is not used in the passive).
Both essays also overstate their examples. Essay 39 says local factories “lose the whole market share”, and Essay 6 cites a study with suspiciously neat figures. The examiner won’t check your facts, but overly absolute claims make the argument look less careful. “A large share”, or a situation any reader can easily picture, is safer.
The optional concession: when to add one and how much
If your position is “largely positive but with a concern”, or you want a more complete argument, you can add a concession. There are two sizes:
| Form | Where | Length | Suits |
|---|---|---|---|
| One or two sentences | At the end of Body 2, or the first sentence of the conclusion | 25–40 words | A four-paragraph essay with a fully positive or fully negative position, where you just want to show “I have considered the other side” |
| A full concession paragraph | The fourth paragraph (Body 3) | 60–80 words | A five-paragraph essay with a “largely…” position, when the other side’s point is strong enough |
The key to a concession is not the “admitting” but the “downgrading” that follows: explain why this side is not enough to change your position. Three common ways to downgrade:
| Way to downgrade | Pattern | Example |
|---|---|---|
| Mere convenience vs fundamental impact | This benefit is largely a matter of convenience, whereas … | More choice is only a convenience, while transport emissions affect everyone |
| Affects a few vs affects most | This only affects …, while … affects the whole community. | A few people benefit while most people bear the cost |
| It can be managed | This problem can be reduced if … | With the right measures, the drawback can be reduced |
Here is a one-or-two-sentence concession for Essay 39, placed after Body 2 (this is my demonstration, not part of the original essay):
Example: Admittedly, imported food gives consumers a wider choice and allows them to enjoy fruit that cannot be grown locally. However, this benefit is largely a matter of convenience, whereas the environmental cost of long-distance transport and the decline of local farming affect the whole society.
The first sentence admits the positive side (more choice); the second downgrades it with “a matter of convenience”, then uses “whereas” to bring back the two main reasons for comparison. The reader can see that you have considered the other side, but your position has not moved at all.
5. Inside a two-question essay: the second question of Essay 41
Essay 41 asked (my paraphrase): in some countries, people care a lot about owning a home rather than renting; why is this, and is it a positive or negative situation? The second question is a compressed positive/negative essay: only one paragraph, but it still needs a position plus two reasons.
The first sentence of the third paragraph answers it directly:
However, I firmly believe that this is a negative development.
“However” works well here: the previous paragraph explained why people think owning a home is important, and this paragraph turns to “but I think this is a bad thing”, so the contrast is real. Then come the two reasons: it is unfair to young people, and it widens the wealth gap.
The most useful thing to learn from this essay is that the reasons in question 2 echo the causes in question 1:
| Question 1: causes | Question 2: why it is negative | How they connect |
|---|---|---|
| A home represents social status (you are expected to own a home before marrying) | Family background is overemphasised, and the wealth gap widens | “Home = status” → whether you can buy a home depends on your family → unfair |
| Rent and the related taxes are a heavy burden | House prices are too high for young people just starting work | Renting is expensive and so is buying → young people are stuck either way |
When having a house is important, the importance of family backgrounds will be overemphasized simultaneously, further leading to unfairness.
This sentence pushes the “social status” from question 1 straight into the “unfairness” of question 2, so the two paragraphs read as one continuous argument rather than two separate answers. I think this kind of connection is one of the reasons this essay reached CC 8.
Watch out for the last sentence of the paragraph, though:
After this happens, the development of a nation will decrease since people stop working hard and only want to rely on their parents.
It jumps from “family background is overemphasised” to “people stop working hard and only rely on their parents”, then to “national development declines”, skipping several steps; and “people stop working hard” is an overgeneralisation about everyone. “Some young people may feel that hard work cannot change their situation, which may reduce their motivation” would be much safer.
6. The conclusion: close according to your position
The conclusion only needs two sentences: restate your position + the two reasons. If you made a concession, you can mention it with “although”, but the main position must sit in the main clause.
Fully negative: In conclusion, I reiterate that … is a negative development. This is because it not only A but also B.
Fully positive: In conclusion, I believe that … is a positive trend, since it A and B.
Largely positive: In conclusion, although … may lead to C, I believe its overall impact is positive because it A and B.
Adding a suggestion (optional): To reduce C, it would be helpful if … (only respond to the problem raised in the concession)
The conclusion of Essay 39 is the cleanest version, in my view:
In conclusion, I reiterate that easily purchasing exotic foods in supermarkets is a negative development. This is because it not only leads to pollution during transportation but also threatens the local food industry.
Compare it with the conclusion of Essay 6:
In conclusion, based on the aforementioned, the phenomenon of people moving from the countryside to cities definitely poses a threat to the society. This is because it reduces the labor productivity as well as worsens the quality of living in cities, all of which hinders the whole community in achieving long-term success and happiness.
The skeleton is right, but it contains two templates: “based on the aforementioned” at the start, and “achieving long-term success and happiness” at the end, a phrase that would fit any question. Also, the position word changes from “negative development” in the introduction to “poses a threat to the society”, which sounds stronger. It is better to use the same wording throughout.
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✦ Target Your Future
Some days you practise for hours and the score still does not move. I hope these notes remind you that the setbacks are part of the road: every recording you replayed, every essay you rewrote and every sentence you finally dared to say is progress you have already made.
I wrote this down so the next person can take fewer detours. You do not have to follow my method exactly. Find a rhythm that works for you, rest when you need to, and come back for the next small step.
I hope what you take away is more than a number on a score report: a little more confidence in yourself, and the courage to step a bit closer to the world.
— Ting
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