In this post: A model outline and body paragraphs on elderly care and ageing, a rewritten Task 45 concession paragraph, the most common mistakes with a checklist, and three practice questions.
Population and Society · 3 parts
- 1. Common questions and 8 arguments
- 2. Collocations and my 7.5 essays
- 3. Models, mistakes and practice (you are here)
✦ In this post
5. Models: one outline and two body paragraphs
Model outline: is caring for elderly parents the family’s or the government’s responsibility? (Discuss both views)
| Paragraph | Content |
|---|---|
| Introduction | Paraphrase the question + position: I believe caring for the elderly should be a shared responsibility, with the government providing a safety net. |
| Body 1 (family side) | Family members understand older relatives’ needs best, and their emotional support cannot be replaced; For 3 (see Part 1) in reverse: grandparents help with the grandchildren and adult children care for their parents, so the family supports each other |
| Body 2 (government side) | Against 3: dual-income families and the sandwich generation carry too heavy a load, so a long-term care system and professional care are needed |
| My view | Families provide companionship and daily care; the government provides professional medical care and financial support |
| Conclusion | Restate both sides + the shared-responsibility position |
Model body paragraph 1 (government side)
(Model) On the other hand, many people argue that the government should take the main responsibility for elderly care. In most modern families, both parents work full-time while also raising their own children, leaving them little time or energy to look after their ageing parents. When an elderly person needs professional medical care, such as help after a stroke, family members may simply lack the skills to provide it. If the government expanded long-term care services and subsidised home-care workers, families would no longer have to choose between their careers and their parents’ well-being.
The line of reasoning in this paragraph: dual-income families have no time → families cannot provide professional care → the government provides long-term care services → families no longer have to choose between work and care. The example is a general situation (such as help after a stroke), and the final second conditional introduces the policy, with no statistics at all.
Model: a rewritten version of the Task 45 concession paragraph
(Model) However, this population structure also has a drawback, which is related to childcare. In many families, grandparents play a vital role in looking after young children while their parents are at work. When the elderly make up a relatively small proportion of the population, fewer young parents can rely on this kind of support, so they must either pay for expensive childcare or reduce their working hours. As a result, raising children becomes a greater financial and emotional burden for young families.
What changed: “fewer older people → fewer grandparents to help” moves to the first half of the paragraph, so the disadvantage is tied closely to the population structure in the question; the repeated importance … important is gone; and the result is written as two concrete choices (pay for childcare or cut working hours), which is clearer than the original “threatens children’s education and care”.
Model outline 2: problems caused by ageing and their solutions (Two-question)
| Paragraph | Content |
|---|---|
| Problem 1 | Spending on pensions and healthcare rises, putting pressure on public finances (Against 3) |
| Problem 2 | The working population shrinks, and companies face labour shortages |
| Solution 1 | Gradually raise the retirement age and encourage healthy older people to keep working (borrowing For 4: passing on experience) |
| Solution 2 | Develop long-term care and preventive medicine so that older people stay healthy and medical spending falls |
6. Common mistakes
| Common mistake | Why it’s wrong | Better version |
|---|---|---|
| aging population poses financial burden | Burden is countable here and needs a | poses a financial burden on… |
| young generation / older generation (no article) | You need the when you mean a whole generation | the younger generation / the older generation |
| the proportion … is bigger | Proportion is described as large or high | the proportion … is larger / higher |
| the authorities’ income | Income usually refers to personal earnings | government revenue |
| pose a threat on | Threat goes with to | pose a threat to |
| become even worsen | Worsen is a verb | become even worse / worsen further |
| it is recommended that the authorities should implement | Formal writing uses the base form of the verb | it is recommended that the government implement… |
| Claiming Taiwan’s health insurance only charges young people (an inaccurate example) | A wrong example undermines your reasoning | working-age adults contribute the largest share |
| Writing specific population percentages | Numbers you are unsure of are easy to get wrong | Use cause and effect: if the workforce shrinks, tax revenue falls |
Checklist before you finish
- ☐ Have you chosen a clear angle from the three players: government, family and individual?
- ☐ Is your concession (disadvantage) paragraph tied to the population structure in the question, rather than a problem every family has?
- ☐ Have you pushed the result one step further (more income → a more flexible budget)?
- ☐ Are the facts in your examples free from over-absolute or wrong claims?
- ☐ Have you put the before group nouns such as the younger generation and the elderly?
- ☐ In an Outweigh essay, does your conclusion weigh the two sides and, where appropriate, offer a solution?
7. Practice questions (with suggested outlines)
Practice 1 (Agree / Disagree)
Some people think that governments should raise the retirement age to deal with ageing populations. Do you agree?
Show the suggested outline
Position: partly agree.
- Body 1 (agree): retiring later means more people keep paying taxes, which eases the pension burden → borrow the tax logic of For 1 (see Part 1)
- Body 2 (agree): experienced employees can pass on their experience to young people → borrow For 4
- Concession (disagree): people in physically demanding jobs are not suited to retiring later, so the rules should be flexible by occupation
Topic sentence: Raising the retirement age would ease the pressure on pension systems, as people would contribute taxes for longer.
Practice 2 (Agree / Disagree)
Some people think that governments should offer cash payments to encourage people to have children. Do you agree?
Show the suggested outline
Position: disagree with relying on cash payments alone.
- Body 1: the main factor in deciding whether to have children is the long-term cost (housing, education, childcare), so a one-off payment has limited effect
- Body 2: childcare services and flexible working hours are more effective, so parents don’t have to choose between work and children → borrow Against 1
- Conclusion: payments can stay, but they should come with long-term childcare policies
Topic sentence: Cash incentives alone are unlikely to raise the birth rate, because the main concern for young couples is the long-term cost of raising a child.
Practice 3 (Positive / Negative)
More and more young adults continue to live with their parents after they grow up. Is this a positive or negative development?
Show the suggested outline
Position: mainly positive.
- Body 1: saving on rent means they can save money or study further → you can borrow the saving argument from the money topic guide
- Body 2: the two generations look after each other: older parents have company, and young people have support when work is busy → borrow For 3
- Concession: it may delay independence and leave them with less experience of running their own lives
Topic sentence: Living with parents allows young adults to save a considerable amount on rent, which they can use for further education or a future home.
When you get down to it, population arguments are about who pays, who provides the care and who is affected. Choose your player first, then push the result one step further, and you can write paragraphs with real depth. That brings the Topic Guides to a close. I suggest picking the topic you know least, writing an essay on it in 40 minutes, and then coming back to the argument bank to check whether your lines of reasoning went all the way to the end.
Further reading
- Task 2 Band 7.5 sample: should we tell children they can achieve anything if they work hard?
- How to write Outweigh and advantages/disadvantages essays
- How to write a Discuss both views essay
- Task 2 Topic Vocabulary (Part 2): quick list of social issue words
- How to paraphrase without losing marks
- IELTS study notes overview (in Chinese)
This is the last part of “Population and Society”. To start again, go back to Part 1.
IELTS Notes in English · Topic Guides (post 10 of 10)
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Task 1 Structure · Task 2 Structure · Topic Guides · Writing Language · Band Score Samples · Practice Methods · Speaking & Study Tips
✦ Target Your Future
Some days you practise for hours and the score still does not move. I hope these notes remind you that the setbacks are part of the road: every recording you replayed, every essay you rewrote and every sentence you finally dared to say is progress you have already made.
I wrote this down so the next person can take fewer detours. You do not have to follow my method exactly. Find a rhythm that works for you, rest when you need to, and come back for the next small step.
I hope what you take away is more than a number on a score report: a little more confidence in yourself, and the courage to step a bit closer to the world.
— Ting
← Back to IELTS notes in English
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