廣告說服力 6.5 分範文｜共 3 篇
- 1. 題目、原文與 TR／CC 7 分
- 2. LR、GRA 掉到 6 的原因
- 3. 改寫示範與檢查表（你正在讀）
五、改寫示範：主體一、主體二與結論
以下是我寫的改寫示範。保留原文的論點（反覆曝光加深印象、Facebook 精準廣告、廣告幫消費者省時間），修正單複數、代名詞、拼字和絕對化用語。
改寫示範｜主體一（A 觀點）
On the one hand, there are good reasons to believe that advertising is highly persuasive. The main reason is that it helps brands stand out in a crowded market. If a person keeps seeing the same product, it becomes familiar, and they are more likely to choose it over unknown alternatives. Social media platforms such as Facebook make this effect even stronger, as they analyse users’ previous purchases and show them discounts on items they are likely to want. Another reason is that advertisements save consumers time. Since most people are too busy to research every product themselves, adverts give them a quick summary of what is available and what each item can do.
| 改了什麼 | 原文 | 改寫示範 |
|---|---|---|
| 補上被指代的名詞 | The main one is that it helps… | The main reason is that it helps…（it 指 advertising，不可數，用單數） |
| 主詞動詞一致 | a person keep seeing | a person keeps seeing |
| 去掉絕對化 | it is undoubtedly that they will purchase it | they are more likely to choose it |
| 句型修正 | people is so busy to search the functions | most people are too busy to research every product |
| 從消費者角度寫 | advertisements are brillant paths for sellers | adverts give them a quick summary… |
其中一個小技巧：如果你對單複數沒把握，可以統一用不可數的 advertising 當主詞。advertising 是不可數名詞，動詞用單數、代名詞用 it，全部一致，比較不容易出錯。原文混用 advertising、advertisements、advertisement，單複數就很容易亂掉。
改寫示範｜主體二（B 觀點）
On the other hand, critics argue that adverts have become so common that people simply tune them out. Many viewers, myself included, skip video adverts on YouTube as soon as the button appears, so the message never reaches them. In addition, the rise of misleading adverts has made consumers more sceptical. When people cannot tell which claims are true, they tend to ignore advertising altogether, which reduces its impact on sales.
主體二改了什麼：第一句用 critics argue that 取代 some people advocate that（advocate 不適合接負面判斷）；個人例子改成 Many viewers, myself included，把「我」放進一個更大的群體，例子就不只是個人習慣；最後一句把原文不清楚的 grant benefits or enhance the incomes 改成 reduces its impact on sales，對象明確。全段的代名詞也統一：adverts 用 them，advertising 用 its。
改寫示範｜結論
In conclusion, although many people skip or distrust adverts, I believe advertising remains effective. Repeated and well-targeted messages still shape what we choose to buy, often without our noticing, which is why companies continue to invest so heavily in it.
改了什麼：用 although many people skip or distrust adverts 回應 B 觀點（包括自己的 YouTube 例子）；理由改成主體一已經論證過的「反覆、精準的訊息影響購買」，不再出現新理由；最後一句 companies continue to invest so heavily in it 是一個常識性的佐證，不是新論點。
六、可直接帶走的句型與單複數檢查表
| 段落 | 句型骨架 |
|---|---|
| 開頭 | It is often argued that advertising is highly persuasive, while others believe it is so common that people now ignore it. This essay will discuss both views before explaining why I believe advertising still works. |
| 主體一 | On the one hand, there are good reasons to believe that… The main reason is that… Another reason is that… |
| 主體二 | On the other hand, critics argue that… For example, I usually… In addition,… |
| 結論 | In conclusion, although…, I believe… because… |
單複數檢查表：這篇用到的易錯名詞
| 名詞 | 可數嗎 | 動詞 | 代名詞 |
|---|---|---|---|
| advertising（廣告這件事） | 不可數 | is / helps | it |
| an advertisement / advertisements | 可數 | is / are | it / they |
| people | 複數 | are | they |
| a person | 單數 | keeps / is | he or she / they |
| goods | 複數 | are | them |
| information | 不可數 | is | it（this information，不說 those information） |
廣告相關字彙：哪些可以放心用
這題原文有不少用字問題，順便整理這個主題可以放心用的字。左欄是原文的寫法，右欄是比較自然的替換：
| 想表達 | 原文 | 比較自然的說法 |
|---|---|---|
| 廣告（總稱） | advertisements／the option of advertising | advertising（不可數）／adverts／ads |
| 加深印象 | because of deep impression | make a lasting impression／build brand awareness |
| 精準投放 | predicts customers’ preference by previous purchasing behaviors | targeted advertising based on users’ browsing and purchase history |
| 產品功能 | functions or characters of goods | features of products |
| 忽略廣告 | overlook those mandatory advertisements | skip unskippable ads／tune out adverts |
| 假廣告 | fake advertising | misleading／false advertising |
| 增加銷量 | grant benefits or enhance the incomes | boost sales／increase revenue |
這些字不用全部背，挑兩三個你覺得自己會用的就好。重點是：先確定拼得出來、知道單複數，再放進作文。
七、自我檢查清單與小練習
自我檢查清單
- ☐ 每個主詞和動詞的單複數一致嗎？（特別注意 people、advertisements）
- ☐ 每個 it / they / them 都找得到它指的名詞，而且單複數對嗎？
- ☐ The main one / Another one 前面，有沒有可以被 one 指代的名詞？
- ☐ 有沒有 undoubtedly、always、never、everyone 這種絕對化用語？能不能改成 likely、often、many？
- ☐ 不可數名詞（information、advice、advertising）前面有沒有誤用 those、many、a？
- ☐ 專有名詞（Facebook、YouTube）大小寫對嗎？
- ☐ 結論的理由，是不是主體段已經寫過的？
- ☐ 如果我在反方舉了自己的例子，結論有沒有回應？
小練習：以下每句都有單複數或指代的錯，請試著改正。
1. Advertisements is everywhere, and it influence our choices.
2. Many people is too busy to compare products, so they rely on those information in adverts.
3. Online shopping has several benefits. The main one is that it save time.
4. If a customer see an advert repeatedly, they will undoubtedly buy the product.
延伸練習：把原文主體二的最後一句 With increasingly cases of fake advertising, people now always ignore those advertisements; therefore, advertisements are not able to grant benefits or enhance the incomes. 改寫成一句沒有單複數錯誤、沒有絕對化用語、對象清楚的句子。
參考改法
這是〈廣告說服力 6.5 分範文〉的最後一篇。想從頭複習可以回到 第 1 篇。
同分數段還可以看
這篇是「架構 7、語言 6」的 6.5。下面是同一個分數段時，我覺得值得一看的幾篇：
- 雅思小分怎麼查？看懂四項小分：TR、CC 7，LR、GRA 6，看懂小分組合才知道要練什麼
- IDP 複查成功：寫作 6.5 到 7.0 的經過：我寫作卡 6.5 很久，最後單科重考＋複查拿到 7.0 的經過
- 雅思網路資源推薦：我整理過的雅思網路資源
- IELTS 備考筆記總覽
IELTS 寫作攻略導覽 · 分數範文（第 12 / 19 篇）
← 上一篇：6.5｜Gap year 優缺點＋意見，TR 7 卻被 LR、GRA 6 拉低
下一篇 →：7｜物種消失是最大的環境問題嗎？TR 8 但 CC 只有 6
✦ Target Your Future
有些日子，明明練了很久，成績卻還停在原地。希望這篇筆記能讓你知道，備考路上遇到挫折並不孤單。一次次重聽的錄音、改過的作文、終於敢說出口的句子，都是你已經走過的路。
把這些經驗寫下來，是想陪下一個正在準備的人少繞一點路。你不必照著我的方法前進，只需要慢慢找到適合自己的節奏。累的時候可以休息，再回來做今天能完成的一小步。
願你最後帶走的，不只是成績單上的數字，還有更相信自己、敢往世界走近一點的勇氣。
— Ting
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