【雅思寫作｜分數範文】縮短工時 7 分範文（1/3）：題目、英文原文，CC 8 為什麼總分還是 7

項目	內容
出處	劍橋雅思 19 Test 2
題型	Agree or Disagree（同意／不同意，需要表態）
寫作日期	2024/06/20
用時	09:40–10:18，約 38 分鐘
字數	317 字（我當時自己記的字數）
我的立場	完全同意（totally agree）
兩個理由	一、休息夠了效率更高；二、長週末讓人能出遠門、放鬆，有助心理健康

學姊提醒：這題的關鍵字是「工作週變短」和「週末變長」，兩個其實是同一件事的兩面。開頭轉述時，記得把兩件事都帶到；我在開頭寫了 fewer than five days 和 a longer weekend，等於把「四天工作制」講清楚了，讀者不會誤會我在談加班或彈性工時。

以下為送出批改的原始版本，未修改（2024/06/20，317 字）

It is argued that the working week should be fewer than five days and labor in the workplace ought to enjoy a longer weekend. I totally agree with this statement because it increases workers’ efficiency and mental health.

The main reason why I believe longer weekend seems to be beneficial is that it increases workers productivity and efficiency. To be more specific, weekends are a brilliant refreshment for workers since it provides them considerable time to get a rest. It is readily apparent that workers will be more efficient and energetic after getting enough rest, leading to a higher productivity. For instance, most workers’ productivities decrease after working eight hours a day, let alone continute working for five complete days; hence, shorter working week undeniably makes those workers concentrate on their tasks and work in efficient way. In this situation, the competitiveness of society will increase, which positively impact the community.

Another factor supporting my opinion is that it enhances workers’ mental well-being. If workers enable to spend quality holiday traveling or getting closer to nature, there is no denying that they can escape from their hectic schedule in their daily life, which increases their mental health. In other words, longer weekend grants workers opportunities to engage in some outdoor activities, providing unique chances to release their pressure and keeping away from mental illness like depression. Take myself as an illustration If I wish to travel to the southern part of Taiwan, I need to have at least three day-offs due to the long distance; therefore, having longer weekend enables me to plan a travel to those far cities instead of just hanging out in my neighborhood, where does not have any natural landscape or spectacular architecture.

In conclusion, I want to reiterate my agreement of the implementation of longer weekend in the workplace. This is because shorter working week increases the productivity and enhances mental well-being of workers.

評分項目	這篇的證據	我的判斷
Task Response 7–8	立場句 I totally agree with this statement 清楚；兩個理由各有解釋和例子。	第一段有推論跳躍（一天工作八小時很累 → 所以要四天工作制），第二段例子偏個人；沒有回應反方，這兩點讓它卡在 7 和 8 之間。
Coherence & Cohesion 8	兩段主題句 The main reason why …、Another factor supporting my opinion is that … 非常清楚；段內每一句都接在前一句的意思上。	段落推進順暢，連接詞不搶戲，指代（those workers、In this situation）大多清楚，達到 8 的描述。
Lexical Resource 7	hectic schedule、let alone、quality holiday、escape from 用得不錯。	productivities、day-offs、plan a travel、agreement of 等搭配錯誤，加上 productivity、efficiency、mental health 重複很多次。
Grammatical Range & Accuracy 7	有 let alone、If …, there is no denying that …、關係子句等複雜句型。	冠詞漏掉的次數很多（longer weekend、shorter working week），還有 enable to、where does not have、一句沒有標點的連寫句。

學姊提醒：CC 拿高分不代表可以忽略文法。一篇結構很好的作文，如果每段都有兩三個冠詞錯，閱卷者在 GRA 那一項就很難給 8；而 GRA 8 的描述是「大部分句子沒有錯誤」，標準比很多人想像的嚴格。