【雅思寫作｜小作文架構】小作文文法（2/4）：被動語態、關係子句與分詞構句

✓ 好句　In the first stage, the used bottles from households or individuals are collected in the bins and trash cans in the street.
（Task 9）流程圖第一句：主詞是被處理的東西，動詞 are collected。

✓ 好句　Overall, the town is going to witness dramatic changes; roads are planned to be expanded, and several facilities are going to be built to cater to various users.
（Task 46）are planned to be expanded、are going to be built，兩種未來被動交替使用，不單調。

✗ 原文　The given picture illustrates the procedure by which the plants and tree are processed the transformed into ethanol …
→ 改法　The diagram illustrates how plants and trees are processed and transformed into ethanol.
（Task 37）the 是 and 的筆誤，tree 要複數。流程圖開頭句最常用的就是 are processed and transformed into，兩個 p.p. 共用一個 are。

✓ 好句　Musical performances, which did not have any attenders before 2005, experienced a steady growth and finished the period at approximately 17.
（Task 29）非限定 which 子句插在主詞後面，再接兩個動詞。attenders 換成 participants 更自然。

✓ 好句　As regards Nickel, it began at 6% increase in January, after which the increase dropped dramatically to about 1% and then levelled off in March and April.
（Task 8）after which 把三段走勢串成一句。（began at 6% increase 的修法見第 3 篇第六節。）

✓ 好句　Regarding the households in Britain, other goods and services were a predominant factor on family’s spending with 36%, followed by food, accounting for 22%.
（Task 14）followed by＋accounting for 一次交代第一、第二名。

✓ 好句　Finally, the labels are put on the outside-part of those cups, completing the production of instant noodles.
（Task 13）用分詞 completing 收尾，流程圖最後一步的好寫法。outside-part 改成 outside 即可。

✗ 原文　Moving to the remaining three activities, the number of people chose table tennis was between roughly 17 and 19 before 2010 …
→ 改法　… the number of people who chose table tennis …／… the number of people choosing table tennis …
（Task 29）一個句子只能有一個主要動詞。was 已經是主要動詞，chose 必須變成 who chose 或 choosing。Task 5 的 households earn around、Task 11 的 students speak German 都是同一種錯。

✗ 原文　In 2010, total satisfactory rate witnessed a dramatic upward trend, with 28% of customers felt excellent and 39% of them believed it was good.
→ 改法　… with 28% of guests rating the service as excellent and 39% describing it as good.
（Task 27）with＋名詞後面要接 V-ing、p.p. 或介係詞片語，不能接過去式。Task 40 的 with Italia reached、Task 47 的 with 40% said 都是同一個錯。

✗ 原文　In the sixth stage, the watched plastic pieces are put into a machine which a number of plastic pellets are produced.
→ 改法　In the sixth stage, the washed plastic pieces are fed into a machine in which they are made into pellets.
（Task 9）後面子句是完整句子（pellets are produced），which 前面要加介係詞：in which／where。watched 是 washed 的拼字錯。

✗ 原文　Regarding open date, most cities started to have underground railway system after 1900, except London, a city that underground system opened in 1863.
→ 改法　… except London, whose underground system opened in 1863.
（Task 22）「它的地鐵系統」是所有格，用 whose。

✗ 原文　Looking first at the map now, a main road goes through from west to east, which a number of shops are built surrounds the main road.
→ 改法　At present, a main road runs from west to east and is lined with shops on both sides.
（Task 46）which 後面塞了兩個動詞（are built、surrounds），句子結構崩掉。這種時候不要硬接關係子句，拆成兩個動詞並列最清楚。

✗ 原文　By adding the water and oil to the stored flour in the mixer, dough sheets are made, which then pass through the rollers.
→ 改法　In the mixer, water and oil are added to the flour to make dough, which is then rolled into sheets.
（Task 13）By adding 的主詞是「人」，主要子句的主詞卻是 dough sheets，變成麵皮自己加水。流程圖主詞都是物品，最好少用 By＋V-ing 開頭。

✗ 原文　Successfully going through grids and being placed on specific rollers, the raw materials are made.
→ 改法　The clay is passed through a metal grid and carried along on a roller.
（Task 26）分詞的主詞應該是黏土，主要子句卻變成 raw materials，而且圖上這一步根本沒有「做出原料」。