IELTS Task 2 Band 7 Sample: Is Moving from the Countryside to Cities Positive or Negative? (Part 2 of 3): CC, LR and GRA, What Worked and What Kept It from 8

IELTS · Band Score Samples中文版　Updated 2026/11/09

In this post: Why Coherence and Cohesion, Lexical Resource and Grammar each stopped at 7, what an even 7 means, four habits worth copying, and a full list of the slips that kept it from 8.

Why this essay scored 7: the four criteria one by one (continued)

Coherence & Cohesion: one central idea per paragraph, but the linking is too formulaic

In paraphrase, the CC 7 descriptor says: information and ideas are logically organised, there is clear progression throughout, and a range of cohesive devices is used, though there may be some under- or over-use; each paragraph has a clear central topic. CC 8 means handling every aspect of cohesion well, with appropriate paragraphing.

The paragraphing in this essay is very clean: Body 1 is only about the countryside, Body 2 only about cities, and neither drifts into the other halfway through. The internal order of each paragraph is also consistent: topic sentence → In other words / To put it another way (restatement) → For example / According to (example) → hence / therefore (back to the topic).

The problem is that this formula is too obvious. Count them: the “semicolon + adverb” pattern (; hence, ; consequently, ; therefore,) appears three times in the essay, always at a key point in a paragraph. Also, In other words should introduce a restatement of the previous sentence, but in Body 1 what follows it is actually a new step in the reasoning (labour is the most important factor in developing the countryside), so it is not really “in other words”. Small things like these add up to the difference between CC 7 and 8.

Lexical Resource: good collocations, and some words that lose marks

In paraphrase, the LR 7 descriptor says: the range of vocabulary allows some flexibility and precision; less common words are used with some awareness of style and collocation, but there may be occasional errors in word choice and collocation. Band 8 means using a wide range of vocabulary fluently and flexibly, with only occasional inaccuracies.

This essay has some good collocations, such as hindering the development of rural areas, the scarcity of fundamental materials, expenditure on daily necessities and achieving long-term success. They show the examiner that I can go beyond the most basic words.

But it also has several classic cases where the meaning slips: suburban areas in the first sentence means the outskirts of a city, not the countryside; immigrate usually means moving to another country, so moving from the countryside to a city in the same country should be migrate or move; and the number of populations treats population as a countable noun and repeats the idea of the number of. Add the misspelling detertorised, and that is enough to keep LR at 7.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy: plenty of structures, and plenty of errors

In paraphrase, the GRA 7 descriptor says: a variety of complex structures is used, with frequent error-free sentences and good grammatical control, though some errors remain. Band 8 means the majority of sentences are error-free, with only very occasional mistakes.

In terms of range, this essay has a conditional (Once people move to urban areas, … will …), a complex sentence (since … , it is harmful … if …) and a relative clause (which undoubtedly makes …), so the range is sufficient. The most obvious error is the second sentence of the introduction: I firmly believe that this is a negative development, this is because …, where a comma is followed directly by another complete sentence. That is a comma splice. In addition, are not able to be built is very unnatural, the subject and verb of overcrowded population happens do not go together, and increased 10% is missing by. With five or six errors like these in 300 words, it is hard to reach 8.

Summing up: what does an “even 7” mean?

An essay with 7 in every criterion has one clear characteristic: nothing makes the examiner frown, but nothing makes them sit up either. The risk with this kind of essay is that every criterion is “just a little short”, so it is hard to jump to 7.5 by fixing just one thing. For this essay, the most efficient order for improvement would be: first fix the LR word errors (suburban, immigrate, population are the quickest to correct), then deal with the GRA comma splice, and only then make the TR reasoning more precise.

A quick note on how the overall score works: the Writing score is the average of the four criteria. Four 7s average 7; if two rise to 8 and two stay at 7, the average is 7.5. Almost all of my later 7.5 essays got there with TR and CC rising to 8 first while LR and GRA stayed at 7. In other words, getting “content” and “organisation” to 8 is easier than chasing zero grammar mistakes. That was my biggest takeaway when I looked back at my scores from this period.

What worked: four habits worth copying

Before the weaknesses, I want to list what this essay did right. These habits went on to appear in almost all of my Task 2 essays that scored 7 or above.

The second point matters most. In the three Task 2 essays before this one, I scored only 6 for CC twice. Comparing them, the clearest difference here is that each body paragraph deals with one group, one the countryside and one the cities, which makes the paragraphing much clearer. One of the most common problems in Task 2 is two reasons that sound almost the same, with only the example changed. If that sounds familiar, try dividing your reasons by who is affected, or by time scale (short term / long term).

What kept it from 8: a list of vocabulary and grammar fixes

The table below lists the errors in this essay. The left column is the original, the middle explains the problem, and the right gives a more natural version. Not every item costs a lot of marks, but together they are the distance between 7 and 8.

Repetition: those “emphatic” adverbs

Besides the errors, I noticed how much I loved emphatic adverbs: definitely, absolutely, undoubtedly and considerably appear several times in this short essay. They are not wrong in themselves, but academic writing tends to be cautious, and constantly saying “absolutely” or “without doubt” actually makes an argument look less secure. It is better to spend the words explaining the reason, so the reader finds it convincing on their own, rather than using an adverb to tell them “this is definitely true”.