這篇筆記： 用表格 Body 3 和金屬價格段落示範怎麼改寫，再附交卷前 2 分鐘的文法檢查清單，最後用 12 題改錯練習收尾。
小作文文法整理｜共 4 篇
- 1. 六組文法、時態與比較句
- 2. 被動語態與關係子句
- 3. 數字介系詞與單複數
- 4. 改寫示範與檢查清單（你正在讀）
八、改寫示範：表格 Body 3 與金屬價格段落
改寫一：大學設施表格 Body 3（Task 47，GRA 7–8）
這篇總分 7，GRA 已經是 7–8，但最後一段集中了好幾種本篇提到的錯誤：with＋過去式、比較寫法，還有一個數字讀錯。
However, when it comes to the cafeteria, undergraduates, who were more satisfied with this service, scored 50%, 30%, and 15% on “very satisfied,” “quite satisfied,” and “dissatisfied”, each. As for postgraduates, the trend changed slightly, with 40% said “very satisfied,” 25% reflected “quite satisfied,” and 35% rated “dissatisfied.”
The cafeteria received the least favourable ratings. Half of the undergraduates were very satisfied with it, compared with 40% of postgraduates. However, the proportion of dissatisfied postgraduates (35%) was more than twice as high as that of undergraduates (15%), which made the cafeteria the least popular facility among postgraduates.
| 改了什麼 | 為什麼 |
|---|---|
| 刪掉 30%，不再逐一列三個數字 | 表格上大學部 quite satisfied 是 35%，原文寫 30% 是讀錯；而且三個數字照抄不如挑重點 |
| with 40% said … → compared with 40% of postgraduates | with 後面不能接過去式；用 compared with 做比較更直接 |
| the trend changed slightly → more than twice as high as | 35% 是 15% 的兩倍多，不是 slightly；靜態表格也沒有 trend |
| 加 that of undergraduates | 比較對象對等：比例比比例 |
| each、scored … on 刪掉 | scored 是「得分」，不適合描述比例；each 放句尾意思不清 |
改寫二：金屬價格 Copper 段（Task 8）
Regarding Copper, the fluctuation was not as significant as other metals, while the highest growth went to 2% in January and the largest drop was in May and June with 0.5% decrease. Additionally, with ten-twelfths of months in 2014 witnessed an upward trend in the range of approximately 0.5% and 1.5%.
Copper prices were the most stable of the three metals. The monthly change ranged only from a rise of 2% in January to a fall of 0.5% in May and June. In fact, copper prices increased in ten of the twelve months, mostly by between 0.5% and 1.5%.
| 改了什麼 | 為什麼 |
|---|---|
| not as significant as other metals → the most stable of the three metals | 比較對象對等，最高級也更清楚 |
| with 0.5% decrease → a fall of 0.5% | 幅度用 a fall of＋數字，冠詞 a 不能少 |
| with ten-twelfths of months … witnessed → increased in ten of the twelve months | 原句只有 with 片語、沒有主要動詞，是不完整的句子；ten-twelfths 也不自然 |
| in the range of 0.5% and 1.5% → by between 0.5% and 1.5% | between … and 配對；by 表示增加的幅度 |
九、交卷前 2 分鐘的文法檢查清單
小作文寫完，我建議留 2 分鐘只看文法，不看內容。順序照下面走，每一項只花 10–15 秒：
☐ 時態：每一段第一個動詞，和這段的時間（過去／現在／未來／無時間）一致？同段沒有跳動？
☐ 被動：每個 p.p. 前面有 be？沒有 are been？take place、remain、rise 沒有用被動？
☐ located：寫成 is／was located，不是 located 單獨當動詞？
☐ 最高級：the highest、the largest、the most 前面都有 the？
☐ 比較對象：比價格就用 that of／those of，沒有拿數字跟國家比？
☐ 倍數：twice as high as、three times the figure for，沒有 more than tripled the …？
☐ 一句一個主要動詞：the number of people chose → who chose／choosing？
☐ with：with 後面是 V-ing 或數字，不是過去式？
☐ 介系詞：between … and、from … to、at＋數字、in＋年份？
☐ 主詞動詞一致：遮住 of 後面，the number／percentage／figure 配單數？
☐ 數字：million 不加 s、副詞 slightly／steadily 沒寫成形容詞？
十、小練習：12 題改錯（附解答）
下面 12 句都是示範句（部分改編自我的錯誤），每句有一個主要錯誤，請找出來並改正。
2. In 1990, the proportion of car owners was the higher among the four countries.
3. Sales in Japan were twice as high as Korea in 2005.
4. After the clay is dug up, it is been placed on a metal grid.
5. A new car park will be taken place by a shopping centre.
6. The percentage of people chose public transport fell to 20%.
7. In 2010, sales rose sharply, with exports reached a record high.
8. The figure fluctuated between 40% to 55% throughout the decade.
9. Coal remained the main source of electricity until 2000 in 130 units.
10. In 2020, the library has been replaced by a car park.（地圖：2000 年 vs 2020 年）
11. Two-thirds of the land are used for farming.
12. The cafe, which located opposite the station, will be demolished.
參考答案：
- have risen → has risen（the number of 配單數）。
- the higher → the highest（四國比較用最高級）。
- as high as Korea → as high as those in Korea（比較對象對等）。
- it is been placed → it is placed（被動是 be＋p.p.，不要 is been）。
- will be taken place by → will be replaced by（take place 不及物，沒有被動）。
- people chose → people who chose／people choosing（一句一個主要動詞）。
- with exports reached → with exports reaching（with 後接 V-ing）。
- between 40% to 55% → between 40% and 55%（或 from 40% to 55%）。
- until 2000 in 130 units → ending at 130 units in 2000（數字用 at，年份用 in）。
- In 2020, the library has been replaced → By 2020, the library had been replaced（兩個年份都在過去，用過去完成式；或去掉年份改寫成 The library was replaced by a car park）。
- are used → is used（two-thirds of＋不可數 land，動詞單數）。
- which located → which is located（located 是過去分詞，要有 be）。
如果 12 題你能在 5 分鐘內全部抓到，代表這六組文法已經很穩了；錯超過三題，建議回到對應的小節，把原文例句抄一次再寫一篇同題型的小作文。
這是〈小作文文法整理〉的最後一篇。想從頭複習可以回到 第 1 篇。
延伸閱讀
- 小作文總論：四段結構、Overview 與時態判斷
- 動態圖：趨勢動詞、副詞與數字介系詞
- 靜態圖：比例用語、比較句與 respectively
- 流程圖：被動語態與順序連接詞
- 地圖題：時態、改變動詞與方位詞
- 大作文也適用：雅思寫作文法錯誤整理
- 雅思小分查詢
- IDP 複查成功經驗
- Ali 老師心得：寫作架構精簡化（400→300 字）
- IELTS 備考筆記總覽
✦ Target Your Future
有些日子，明明練了很久，成績卻還停在原地。希望這篇筆記能讓你知道，備考路上遇到挫折並不孤單。一次次重聽的錄音、改過的作文、終於敢說出口的句子，都是你已經走過的路。
把這些經驗寫下來，是想陪下一個正在準備的人少繞一點路。你不必照著我的方法前進，只需要慢慢找到適合自己的節奏。累的時候可以休息，再回來做今天能完成的一小步。
願你最後帶走的，不只是成績單上的數字，還有更相信自己、敢往世界走近一點的勇氣。
— Ting
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